Copyright © 2020 Doug Britton. But those who have encountered the living Christ understand what I mean. Now that you love yourself, it’s time to begin helping others find the highest form of self-love of their own. Copyright © 2021 Doug Britton Books  |  Reprint Policy  |  Privacy Policy  |  To accept the use of cookies, simply continue using this website. Leviticus 19:18 “You are not to seek vengeance or hold a grudge against the descendants of your people. Summary: Self-love, or loving yourself. Roy T. Bennett. Whoever does not love abides in death. Let’s look at the full passage: Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. “Do not love the world or the things in the world. That’s just something people read into the passage. The most loving thing we can do for others is love God more than we love them. The key to a positive self-image is to understand how much God loves you. : (1 john3:11), Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. When you accept and love yourself, you don’t need someone else’s approval or love, and you are likely to believe that you will find someone who you will love, and who will love you. Instead, love your neighbor as yourself. Was Paul saying a husband can’t love his wife until he learns to love himself? (see upcoming show time) YesNo. The answer is to understand the depth of God’s love, mercy, forgiveness, and grace. Matthew 22:39 reads simply, “A second [command] is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” In popular circles this verse is often paraded as a text which teaches that we are commanded to love ourselves. If we say we can’t love others until we love ourselves, we are essentially saying Jesus gave us a third commandment. There’s a cliché saying that you have to love yourself first, before you can deeply love other people, be it your spouse, family or friends – assuming that we know different kinds of love. (John 3:16), But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions — it is by grace you have been saved. We love because He first loved us. If we aren’t called to love ourselves, does that mean we should hate ourselves? (1 Corinthians 16:14), Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. This page is also available in: हिन्दी (Hindi). As you will see, that’s not what Jesus was saying. It's something based on choice. Many people think the Bible says they must love themselves before they can love others, but that is not what Jesus said. "LOVE YOURSELF" in the KJV Bible. He didn’t get a text “there’s a hurting man that you’ll see when you travel this way”. Dig deep within to demonstrate your worth. If you don’t love yourself in a healthy way, you will never be able to love others in the way that you should. Many people think the “cure” to a poor self-image is to learn to love yourself. In fact, some people think Jesus said you must love yourself before you can love others. As the Bible says, “there is more … Following are the Top-100 quotes on loving yourself, self-esteem, self-worth. They think “as yourself” means you cannot love others unless you first love yourself. But the human love the Bible talks about isn't just a passing emotional state. 2. Summary: Self-love, or loving yourself — Did Jesus say you must love yourself first? Is it absolutely wrong to feel self-love (or to love yourself)? We will never sell or share your name or email address. We have been given an abundance of Bible verses about loving others, so we can assume it’s important. But Jesus wasn’t talking about feeling love for ourselves. Throughout the Bible, it is assumed that we love ourselves. God doesn’t want you to go through life saying, “I hate myself.”. One of the first steps in finding ways to love others as yourself is noticing them. Though conventional wisdom says yes, the real answer is much more complicated. He demonstrated this love in the most powerful way possible when he sacrificed Jesus on the cross to die for our sins. In Mark 10:29-37, Jesus showed us what he meant by telling a story about a Samaritan man who helped an injured Jewish man. Were Cain and Abel the first children of Adam and Eve. Throughout the Bible, we are commanded to love others—without being told to “love ourselves first.” For example: A new command I give you: Love one another. (Scripture verses are from the New International Version, copyright © 1984.) God’s love for me — A personal Bible study on God’s love for us. But first let’s look a little deeper at the idea of “loving yourself.”. The first part includes inspiring quotes with images, the second part includes popular self-love phrases and sayings without images. There are three things you can do when you want to make a commitment and find ways to love others. If you don’t love yourself how can you love God and live a life to glorify him? Have insights you’d like to share ? Check out our Bible Answers page for more information on a variety of topics. The alternative to loving yourself is not hating yourself. Get our latest answers straight to your inbox when you subscribe here. We don’t need to worry about ourselves, God takes care of His precious children (Matthew 6:25-34). Enjoy. LOVE OTHERS. 281 Instances - Page 1 of 10 - Sort by Book Order Expand or Limit Your Search Results: All KJV books Old Testament only New Testament only Apocrypha only (?) Sign up to get 1-2 newsletters a month announcing new online Bible studies and more. Your confidentiality is assured. In this passage, Jesus said there are two great commandments, one of which is to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:34-40). Loving yourself is the practice of self-love, and it’s ongoing. 1 John 3:14 says, We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. But as many wise figures have remarked over the years, it’s in fact only when you first learn to accept and cherish your own essence that you can find the peace of mind to be truly present for your loved ones — and for your own life. How can you love someone best by loving someone else most? Paul reiterates this principle of self-denial or not loving himself in that he sacrificed everything for the sake of the gospel and repeatedly risked his life for the sake of spreading the gospel. Or stories about how one of these verses has impacted your life? So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. It may be possible to say something such as, “I love myself because God created me, and he loves me.” Or, you might say, “God loves me, so I am lovable.” However, this can be a dangerous road to travel since it’s easy to focus more and more on ourselves — our accomplishments, our popularity, our power, our wealth. A note on Loving Yourself ~ The Bible says: “Love Your Neighbor as Yourself” (See #1 above). In the years since then, through studying the Bible, Ive come to understand my misgivings better. We will never sell or share your name or email address. Jesus was (and is) a superb communicator. Let me illustrate another way you could read into this passage — and be just as wrong: Imagine that I hate myself. If you don’t love yourself how can you love others? "Love yourself first and everything else falls into line." One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. If loving yourself is not the answer to a negative self-image, feelings of inferiority, or sense of failure, what is? I’ve been writing about the idea of “loving yourself.” Now let’s take a look at what Jesus meant when he said to “love your neighbor.”. Self-love has its place, yet we are happiest when we love God above all and focus on doing good things for others. I believe the popular teaching of self-love falls … For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it” (Matthew 16:24, 25 and Mark 8:34-35). 1. What seems to be more healthy is self-acceptance—that is, viewing yourself as a basically good person who is worthy of love, without needing to prove yourself or outshine others. Click here to see what’s new on our website. Let’s look at another verse that helps us see this point. It is to fully grasp and enjoy God’s love for you. #3 Loving Others God's love is a gift to us; it's in us, but we need to release it to others through words and actions. Doug Britton, MFT www.dougbrittonbooks.com. It's amazing how much of a difference knowing even one verse by heart can change you. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3–4). 40 likes. He did not give us a third commandment. Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. You will read more about enjoying God’s love later in this study. (John 13:34), Do everything in love. You might say, “But I hate myself” or “I hate my body.” That may seem to be true on one level. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. We choose to care about another person's welfare, even if that person has hurt us, called us names, ignored us. Remember that: Loving others starts with being observant. Here’s how Paul put it: After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. He was simply saying to love other people. Until you die. Related: Understanding humility—what it is, and what it isn’t. Would you like to know more about God’s love? It is part of human nature, part of what it means to be a human being. The scriptures tell us not to love ourselves, but to love others more than we love ourselves and put the interests of others above our own. And he wasn’t saying to hate your neighbor if you hate yourself. No. (I’m sure you would agree it’s obvious this isn’t what Jesus was saying.). Forever. And when you love yourself and the things about you, only then can you properly share yourself to the world. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. English, Arabic (العربية), French (Français), Hindi (हिन्दी), Table of Contents The plot against DanielDaniel’s faithfulnessGod’s prophet thrown to the lions’ denGod saves Daniel from the Lions’ DenDarius praises God This page is also available in: हिन्दी (Hindi)The…, This page is also available in: हिन्दी (Hindi)According to the account in Genesis, Cain was the first child of Adam and Eve followed by Abel. Of course not. So much negativity about ourselves disappears when we focus on the needs of others above our own needs. Hosea 3:1 | View whole chapter | See verse in context Then said the LORD unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress, according to the love of the LORD toward the … For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. He was not adding a third commandment or a precondition to loving others. Sign up for Doug Britton's newsletter today. Once again, he wasn’t talking about feeling love. In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul wrote that each husband “must love his wife as he loves himself” (Ephesians 5:33). They think “as yourself” means you cannot love others unless you first love yourself. They know the depth of love and breadth of grace that flows out from them toward others wh… There is not one … Should you stop trying to love others until you love yourself (or until you feel love for yourself)? (1 Peter 54:), This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. Does God want you to hate yourself or feel bad about yourself? No, because we are created in the image of God, whose primary quality is unselfish love. The scriptures tell us not to love ourselves, but to love others more than we love ourselves and put the interests of others above our own. In a biblical sense, we must love ourselves as the creation of God, humbly serving the righteousness of His will. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down. Jesus simply said to love others “as yourself.” He didn’t say to love others after you love yourself. Loving others is easy. But that’s not what he meant. Will loving others ahead of yourself reduce your happiness or self-respect? he said. And as you do, you will attract others into your life who will love you without conditions. (Genesis 1: 27; 1 John 4:8) This means that we are designed to show love for others. Loving ourselves should not be an egotistical or arrogant thing but an appreciation of our existence by the grace of God. Humans are fallen creatures. Understandably, they desperately want to escape a negative self-image. It’s not a bar to measure yourself before getting into a relationship. Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. “And Adam knew Eve his…. After all, I am supposed to love my neighbor the same way I love myself. Don't miss out on new Bible studies! 4. Joel Osteen. 100 Love Yourself, Self-Esteem And Self-Worth Quotes 1. If you’re thinking rightly about God and yourself, you should not hate yourself, whether it’s during the pre-fall with Adam and Eve or the post-fall with the rest of us. Introduction: Multitudes of people, Christians included, go through life feeling discouraged, depressed, and unlovable. They support this idea by pointing to Jesus’ command to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). "Warm-fuzzy" love is easy -- until the emotion starts to fade, that is. According to this passage, loving others requires humility, a valuing of others, and a conscious effort to put others’ interests first. We can have it all. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:34-40). Or so we often think. I am the LORD.” Self-worship is a sin. Real Questions. That would have nullified his forceful instructions to husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25-32). You can't make anyone love you without loving yourself first.” ― Kemi Sogunle tags: giving-love, inspirational-quotes, love, love-quotes, loving-one-another, loving-others, loving-someone, loving-yourself, loving-yourself-unconditionally, real-talk, reality-of-life, self-love, truth, unconditional-love. (Ephesians 5:29), When Jesus said to love your neighbor “as yourself,” he simply was emphasizing how important it is to love your neighbor, to be genuinely concerned for others’ welfare. When Paul wrote these words, he was writing about selfish, self-centered love—a type of love that is very different from the self-giving love God wants us to have. It’s pretty straightforward. Left dormant, it will stagnate like a pool of water with no outlet. What does loving your neighbor “as yourself” mean? If so, check out this online Bible study: God’s love for me — A personal Bible study on God’s love for us. Visit www.dougbrittonbooks.com for practical, biblical, cross-cultural books, Bible studies, and ebooks. In fact, some people think Jesus said you must love yourself before you can love others. Please remember that you have to love yourself first, before you can then love others. Until you die. Some are even self-destructive. Is self-hate the opposite of self-love? As you will see, that’s not what Jesus was saying. In fact, without realizing it, we are suggesting that to love yourself is the second greatest commandment, for we are saying it comes before the commandment to love others. "F.L.Y. You can't give the love you do not have. Loving ourselves may come naturally for some but loving someone else the same way may be more difficult. 2. In a world where hurt and pain exists at every turn and words can be carelessly thrown around, the need for loving our neighbor is extremely high. In fact, some people think Jesus said you must love yourself before you can love others. 1. (Psalm 36:7), Related: Knowing God’s love — How to be reconciled to God. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever” (1 John 2:15-17). (Psalm 52:8), The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3), How priceless is your unfailing love! John 13:34-35 TLB says, “And so I am giving a new commandment to you now —love each other just as much as I love you. We are saying that loving ourselves is a precondition to loving other people. Give your true self to the world and those around you. LifeTree Books Our Mission Author Doctrinal Beliefs Testimonials, Reprint Policy Newsletter Privacy Policy Seminars Contact Us. Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” We are commanded to love one another as Jesus does. Permission granted to print for personal use. It’s a lovely saying for sure, but let’s try to analyze and find the answer to why it’s so important to love yourself first, from a very practical point of view. Apart from God and His power, we are selfish, and loving ourselves comes much more naturally than loving others. So get your Bible verse lists out and memorize one a day. (Visit www.dougbrittonbooks.com.). LOVING YOURSELF FIRST (BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE OTHERS) Many people think the answer to a poor self-image is to learn to love yourself. Loving yourself before you can love someone else or can truly receive love is a lie. The main reason we run into difficulties in loving others is sin, both ours and that of those we try to love. Peter upholds love to others and specifically adds that we need to deny ourselves from fleshly lusts that war against the spirit (1 Peter 2:11). Once we put ourselves aside, we can rest assured that the Lord will take care of us and provide for all our needs. Do you need to love yourself before you can love someone else? (1 John 4:19) They support this idea by pointing to Jesus’ command to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Read the story. Jesus came and paid the ultimate sacrifice for our sins — not because we deserved it, but because He was a living, breathing example of loving others well. CBN.com-- Loving other people doesn't mean being "in love" with everyone. I knew something wasnt quite right, but I didnt know what. Home » Miscellaneous » Is the phrase love yourself before you can love others Biblical? The speaker had just given an impassioned speech from Matthew 22:39 about the vitality of self-love and acceptance for our spiritual lives. When we are excited and secure in his love for us, we don’t need to try to find meaning by loving ourselves. Notice that Jesus said, “All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:40). Anger     Anxiety    Christianity    Counseling    Culture    Depression    Marriage    Money    Parenting    Personal Growth    Relationships    Self-Image    Small Groups    Temptation. It is perfectly okay to be single and to love yourself. The Samaritan first saw the hurting man. That clearly is not God’s desire. Demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally to yourself. When you do, you will see that loving your neighbor means being concerned about other people — seeking the best for them, and helping them in their time of need. Did Jesus say you must love yourself first? Throughout God’s word, you find the concept of love, self-sacrifice, and self denial. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. The more we experience God’s forgiveness and love, the more we think of him and the less we think about ourselves. Doug Britton, Bible-based Marriage and Family Therapist, has helped hundreds of thousands of people as a therapist, clinical director of a treatment center, seminar speaker, radio cohost, and author of over twenty books that show how to apply God's truths in your daily life. Sign up for 1-2 newsletters a month announcing new Bible studies and more. As a thirteen-year-old, I sat in the auditorium of a youth camp with mixed feelings. (Psalm 36:5), But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever. If you think you should love yourself first, you missed his point, Understanding humility—what it is, and what it isn’t, Knowing God’s love — How to be reconciled to God. *They support this idea by pointing to Jesus’’ command to*“love … Here are 10 reasons why self-love is the best kind of love, and why it's important to love yourself first, before focusing on loving someone else. Anything less than this is selfish and vain—and falls short of the … Jesus could not be talking about an impure love of yourself because He would never say you should love yourself from a sinful perspective, motive, or desire. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”. Explain your answer. God wants us to love ourselves and our identity in Him! That’s why the Bible actually warns against self-love. Jesus being the prominent example of this and encouraging self-denial in that He says, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. When Jesus said to love your neighbor, he wasn’t saying to love your neighbor after you love yourself. Not necessarily. He was talking about the reality that underneath everything else, at the core of our being — even under self-loathing or self-destructive behavior — we want the best for ourselves. (Ephesians 2:4-5). You can only love God and your neighbor as much as you accept and love yourself! Since Jesus said to love my neighbor “as myself,” does this mean I should hate my neighbor since I hate myself? Your confidentiality is assured. Forever. But love is not selfish; it seeks the best for others (1 Corinthians 13:5; Philippians 2:3). For if we love God most, we will love others best. Loving yourself is the hard part…. The phrase “love your neighbor as yourself” comes from Jesus’ answer to the question, “Which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” (Matthew 22:36). He didn’t say “on these three commandments.”. Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. As you love yourself you will realize what you deserve and create your own sense and definition of love. (1 John 3:18). People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy … (2 Timothy 3:1-2). As I have loved you, so you must love one another. The world tells us to love ourselves before we love others, but this stems from a selfish spirit and directly contradicts the Bible. No. No. These Bible verses are about loving others by focusing on the greatest commandment in the Bible: Love your neighbor as yourself. Is the phrase love yourself before you can love others Biblical? Note what he says in Acts 20:24, “But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” Paul also urges Christians to present themselves as a holy sacrifice to the Lord, submitting themselves to the will of God and not to selfishly hold on to the things of this world (Romans 12:8, 13:14). Everything just has its own timing and there isn't anything wrong with us if we don't get there at the same time as another person. The Bible also cautions us to not love the world, or what the world teaches. Why or why not? Your Question (required) Would you like this question answered on our show? I know this sounds like preposterous gobbledygook to an unbeliever. The world tells us to love ourselves before we love others, but this stems from a selfish spirit and directly contradicts the Bible. But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. Loving yourself certainly makes it easier to love someone else. Bible Based. Loving yourself, giving grace, forgiveness, treating your body kindly, and resting are just a few ways to love ourselves. Many of us are disgusted with ourselves or our bodies. He would have said “on these three commandments” if that was what he meant. Real Answers. When we understand God’s love, when we deeply know he loves us, we don’t need to focus on loving ourselves. See reprint policy. Top 20 Bible Verses-Learning to Love Others … Want to add more verses to this list of Top 20 Bible Verses-Learning to Love Others ? 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